No Going Back
by Jen Drake
Summary: A trip to the waterfall brings Kate and Sawyer closer. Skate story. Oneshot.


Title: No Going Back

Rating: PG/PG-13ish

Pairing: Sawyer/Kate hints of Jack/Kate

Summary: A trip back to the waterfall brings Kate and Sawyer closer.

Spoilers: Anything in the first season is fair game, although I doubt it'll go past "Outlaws" .

Status: Complete (It's a one-shot)

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Those belong to JJ Abrams, Damon Lindelof and those at ABC and Touchstone.

No Going Back

The sun was beating down on the white sandy beach mercilessly. Even sitting in the shade of a palm tree Kelt like she was being cooked alive. The tropical heat was nearly unbearable, easily in the high nineties or low hundreds, and combined with the humidity in the air, made it feel like it was several degrees warmer than it was actually. From her spot against the tree, Kate looked over at Claire who was laughing at something Charlie had just said.

With a smile, Kate turned her attention+ away from the young couple and focused for a moment on Jin and Sun. They were nearly the exact opposite of Claire and Charlie. Where Charlie was always trying to make Claire laugh, Jin was as serious as he could get. Where Claire looked at Charlie with wonder and admiration, Sun held confusion and something bordering on contempt in her gaze.

Father down the landscape, Shannon was working on her tan while Boone stood over her, no doubt telling her to use more sun screen or something of other importance. Kate briefly wondered what it'd be like to have someone like Boone in her life- someone who cared about her unconditionally no matter what she'd done in the past. Her small smile disappeared and then Boone looked up, seemed to notice her looking at them and flashed her a brilliant smile. Kate couldn't help but smile back before turning her attention away from the pair.

Michael was watching Walt play fetch with Vincent, a proud smile on his tired face. Near Sayid's shelter, he and Hurley sat talking and were quickly joined by Rose. Closer to the water, sitting on a cluster of rocks, Jack was conversing with Locke, who shook his head in disagreement to whatever Jack had just remarked.

From her perch against the palm tree trunk, Kate could see almost everyone on the island. Everyone that is, except for the one person who was constantly on her mind. Sawyer. She leaned forward, looking up and down the beach, her gaze landing on his tent and searching it from her seat.

"Lookin' for someone, Freckles?" The slow, Southern drawl came from behind her and Kate smiled slightly.

"Who would I be looking for, Sawyer?" Kate asked, looking up at him. He was leaning against the tree, his arms folded across his chest, a cocky smile on his face.

"Well I don't know, darlin'. You tell me," he kneeled down beside her, looking at her expectantly. His cerulean gaze was inquisitive and playful at the same time as he looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"What makes you think I was looking for someone?" Kate asked, drawing her legs up to her chest, draping her arms over them.

"You were starin' at that tent over there awful hard, that's all," Sawyer shrugged his shoulders as he nodded in the direction of his own tent. Kate stood suddenly, brushing sand off her jeans and looked down at him with a smirk.

"Maybe I was making sure you were on the beach so there wouldn't be any Southern perverts following me," she turned and walked away, looking over her shoulder at him with a playful smile.

Sawyer stared after her for a minute, shaking his head. When he looked after her again, he found that she'd disappeared into the foliage. Her last words to him were stuck in his mind and he frowned when he tried to think of what she'd meant. That's when he realized that last time she'd said that to him had been when they'd found the waterfall. He stood, trying to make it look casual and disappeared into the jungle in the direction Kate had gone.

Kate knew Sawyer was following her. She'd known it from the moment he stood and followed her into the jungle. He'd hesitated a moment, which had thrown her off a bit, but now, as she stood at the edge of the lagoon, she was sure her feelings were right. She briefly wondered where her actions were going to lead her. She'd all but openly flirted with Sawyer and now here they were going to be, off by themselves again. There was something about Sawyer- something that not only intrigued her, but scared her. He seemed to be able to read her better than anyone else on the island. And while she was close with Jack, Sawyer seemed to be more accepting and easygoing than the doctor.

When Sawyer walked into the clearing near the lagoon, he quickly scanned the area for Kate. She wasn't on the rocks near him or on the opposite side by the waterfall. For a moment he doubted whether or not Kate had actually implied that she was going to their waterfall. Then a thought struck him- when had he started thinking of it as _their_ waterfall instead of _the_ waterfall?

He walked closer to the water and noticed Kate's shoes, backpack and denim jeans laying in a neat pile on the rocks.

"Are you coming in?" Sawyer looked up from her belongings and saw Kate swimming toward him gracefully. Sawyer couldn't stop the grin that split across his face. Kate was treating water in one place, looking at him questioningly. Reaching down, Sawyer tugged his tee over his head and toed his shoes off, pulling off his socks, as well. Kate was swimming away from as he stepped into the shallow end of the lagoon.

Kate was swimming lazily around the lagoon, taking long, even strokes through the water. When she was nearly to the powerfully loud waterfall, she turned to glance back at Sawyer. The rocks were devoid of Sawyer's presence. From her position she could see his pile of clothing and her eyes widened and she swallowed when she saw he'd draped his jeans over the rocks.

"Sawyer?" she called uncertainly, looking around, turning herself in the water as she did so. "Sawyer, where are you?" when she didn't get an answer, she started to worry. Thinking of the bodies that remained at the bottom of the lagoon, Kate shook her head in something akin to disbelief when she realized he must have went down to scavenge whatever he could off the bodies. Taking a deep breath, Kate immersed herself in the water and dove toward the bottom, looking for any signs of Sawyer. When she found the bodies, she looked around frantically for him, only to find no traces of him.

With a frown, Kate made her way to the surface, taking a moment to gasp for air before shouting out his name desperately.

"Sawyer, this isn't funny!" Kate wasn't one to frighten easily, but the thought of Sawyer getting hurt- or worse- because of her was more than she could bare. "Sawyer?" her voice died a bit on the last syllable, cracking and losing some of its volume. Then she felt something on her ear- a gentle and warm breeze that sent shivers racing up and down her spine.

"Everthin' all right, Freckles?" Sawyer's voice was low and slightly husky in her ear. Kate was instantly relieved, but angered that he would and could scare her like that. Twirling around in the cool water, Kate glared at him, noticed his trademark smirk was in place, before she smacked his arm lightly.

"Don't do that you- you..." she trailed off as she lost what she'd been about to say. "Jerk," she finished lamely.

"Aww, what's wrong, Sweetcheeks? Scared?" His voice was mocking as he teased her. Then he noticed the look in her eyes. She _had_ been afraid. Afraid that something had happened to _him_.

"Nothing," Kate shook her head and swam away from him. Sighing, Sawyer swam after her.

"So, what're we doing here, Freckles?" he asked conversationally.

"Swimming," was Kate's response. She didn't look at him or even make any advance to further their conversation, however minimal. After a longer period of silence and Sawyer simply watching Kate swim around, he spoke again.

"Well I'll just leave you to your swimming," he started toward to the rocks where he'd left his clothes. He was halfway there when he heard Kate speak softly.

"Don't you want to know what I did?" She spoke so softly that he barely heard what she'd said. Turning toward her, he looked at her curiously, cocking his head to the side. "What I did to get arrested?" She had his full attention now and he motioned for her to continue. Kate swam closer to him, speaking slowly.

"I killed a man," she didn't meet his eyes as she spoke. Sawyer said nothing, which she took as a cue to continue. "We were friends. More than friends," she glanced at him quickly, gauging his reaction, before looking away just as quickly. "Tom was..." she paused, as if unsure how she should tell the story. "I loved him. He was trying to help me escape and I killed him." She didn't know when she'd decided to tell Sawyer about her past- something she hadn't told anyone else on the island- not even Jack. Kate had been ignoring the truth- the little voice that told her she was drawn to Sawyer for quite some time. And Kate wasn't one to ignore things for very long.

Sawyer listened intently, wondering why she'd decided to tell him her story. What she was telling him however, didn't make sense. She'd loved him and killed him- her story was conflicted.

"If you loved him-" Sawyer glided toward her in the water, stopping a few feet away from her.

"It was an accident," Kate shrugged her shoulders. Sawyer shook his head.

"Then why are you blaming yourself if it was an accident, sweetcheeks?" Sawyer's tone was understanding and laced with something that sounded like concern.

"Because I _killed_ him!" Kate raised her eyes to look at him, and Sawyer was slightly surprised to see tears welled up in her eyes. "If I had stayed away from him, he'd be alive right now!" she blinked and a tear made it's way down her cheek.

"Freckles," he grasped her shoulder lightly. "It's not-"

"Don't tell me it wasn't my fault. It was. It _is._" she shook his hand off, moving away from his touch.

"Why are you tellin' me this, sassafras?" Sawyer felt an unknown pressure twisting around his heart as he watched Kate try to regain control of her emotions.

"Because you need to know."

"Need to know what?" he persisted gently, not sure why he was speaking so softly. Usually he'd be acting sarcastic and being a smart aleck. But with Kate, he didn't have to act that way. He didn't have to act.

"You need to know why I can't...why I can't be around you," she wouldn't look at him. "My whole life- anyone I've trusted- anyone I've gotten close to..." she turned to look at him, trying not to notice how sad his eyes looked as he gazed at her, or how the water droplets glinted in the light against the bronze planes of his shoulder and chest that she could see before the water covered his flesh.

Sawyer's eyes widened when he realized what she was trying to tell him. "I'm not goin' anywhere, Freckles," he reached up and cupped her face, making her look at him. He wiped away her tears, only getting her face even wetter because his fingers were dripping with water. She tried not to smile at the action.

"I'm not leavin' ya alone," he spoke with sincerity that surprised her, pulling her toward him. Kate raised her eyes to his and it was then that she realized just how close she was to him. There was less than a foot of space between them and he was slowly tugging her closer to him, the water providing little resistance since she did not offer any.

Kate's eyes dropped to Sawyer's mouth as he pulled her against his body. The planes of his body were both hard and smooth- like velvet covered steel.

"Kate." She looked up, her eyes wide. Sawyer rarely called anyone by their real name, and the way he'd said it- soft and seductive with a tinge of huskiness in his voice. His hands were on her hips, pulling her flush against his boxer-clad body. Kate took a deep breath and shivered slightly at the feelings coursing through her body caused by Sawyer's touch.

His hands moved from her hips, up her torso, tracing the curve of her neck to cup her face in his hands, tilting her head back so she was forced to look in his eyes. His normally pristine eyes had darkened and he was looking at her oddly.

"Sawyer I-" then he was gently pulling her face toward his and his lips were pressed against hers in a kiss that was very different than their last kiss. Their last kiss had been smoldering and about control. Kate had been able to control Sawyer with that kiss- she'd managed to get the truth out of him when no one else had been able to do that. This kiss however, was gentle and passionate. Kate's arms left her sides and moved to wind around Sawyer's neck.

Sawyer was thoroughly enjoying the attention he was receiving from Kate, even if id did confuse him. He knew Kate didn't dislike him, but he wasn't sure why her behavior had suddenly changed. And his curiosity was getting the better of him.

"Kate, what're we doin'?" he managed to get out between heated kisses.

"What does it feel like?" she rubbed against him enticingly. Sawyer stifled a low moan of approval when she rubbed against his pelvis.

"Confusion," he managed to ground out between tightly clenched teeth.

"What?" Kate pulled away from him, breaking the contact between the pair.

"Freckles, what's goin' on here?" Sawyer could tell by the look in her eyes and the way she'd kissed him and her body language that she wanted him and wouldn't shoot down his advances. He couldn't believe he was questioning her motives at a time like this when he would normally be taking advantage of the opportunity.

"We both know somethin's goin' on in that there head of yours. The question is what exactly you're thinkin'," he spoke carefully, his Southern drawl seeming even slower than usual.

"I just..." Kate started to explain but stopped suddenly, swimming backward away from him, rejection flashing in her eyes.

"Just tell me why you've suddenly taken such a liking to me, Sweetcheeks," Sawyer remarked softly, trying not to sound as if he were pleading. Swimming toward her, he prepared himself to be ready for her flight. Kate was secretive so he was willing to bet she'd flee if he pursued his questions. He noticed she was swimming backwards, not noticing that she was getting very closer to the falls.

"Freckles," he spoke in warning, reaching for her, not wanting her to be pushed under the surface of the powerful water.

Kate couldn't understand why Sawyer was questioning her. She knew he was nosy, but never in a million years did she ever expect him to push her away. He wanted to know she she'd suddenly decided she wanted him. The truth was, it wasn't a sudden realization or decision. She'd been wanting Sawyer since she'd kissed him after Jack and Sayid had tortured him. After years of not trusting anyone, she'd gotten pretty good at hiding her feelings.

Looking at Sawyer, Kate thought he looked concerned, fascinated and determined laced with a touch of anger all at the same time. When he reached for her, Kate moved quickly out of his reach, only to be pushed under the surface by the waterfall. She felt water fill up her mouth and go down her throat as she desperately tried to get out of the path of the cascading water. Despite her strength, Kate found it difficult to even move underneath the pounding water.

When she didn't surface after a moment, panic spread through Sawyer, making him uneasy and anxious at the same time.

"Dammit!" he swore, diving under the water, looking for Kate. He saw her flailing, trying to desperately reach the surface, but the force was too much for her. With a powerful series of kicks, he managed to reach her, grabbed her wrist and worked on getting them out of the path pf the might waterfall. Pulling her up to the surface, he maneuvered them away from the falls, only to find that they were in a small enclave behind the waterfall.

Kate was coughing and sputtering as Sawyer held her steady, his hands at her waist. After all the water had been expelled from her lungs, Kate let herself relax against Sawyer, resting her forehead against his chest.

"You okay?" Sawyer held her at arms' length, ducking his head to look at her. Kate nodded slowly in thanks. Sawyer flashed her a relieved smile before speaking.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," he spoke softly in a very serious tone. Kate's eyes widened when she realized what he'd said. When he didn't make any excuses or explanations, Kate realized he was being truthful and serious.

"I'll try to remember that," Kate smiled at him, noticing the way his eyes darkened when she ran her hands up his arms to rest on his broad shoulders.

"Sawyer," she leaned closer to him, tilting her head back in invitation.

"Freck-" he was cut off by her mouth on his. Sawyer remained still for a moment, enjoying the fact that she'd been the one to kiss him first for the second time that day, before he responded.

"I want you." At Kate's whispered comment, Sawyer stilled and pulled away from her.

"And the doctor?" he leaned back to look at her.

Kate knew what he wanted- he wanted her to confirm her disinterested in Jack. Letting her eyes wander over his bronzed body, Kate wondered if she was making a mistake. Jack was responsible, caring and dependable and a doctor to top it all off. On the opposite spectrum, Sawyer was mysterious, impulsive and passionate. He was no doctor- he was a thief and a murderer. Her brain told her that Jack was what she should want, but her heart disagreed.

"What doctor?" Kate looked into his eyes.

"You know what you're sayin', right?" Sawyer wondered. "'Cause there's no goin' back, sweetheart."

"No going back," Kate nodded, confirming what he'd wanted her to confirm. With a grin, Sawyer wrapped his arms around Kate, lifting her into his embrace as he kissed her with passion.

Authors Note: Okay, so this is my first _Lost_ story. I've written other stories, but this is my first for the TV show. Any feedback is welcome, but I ask that you go a little easy on me. (Meaning constructive criticism (i.e. how to make the characters more _in_ character, etc), not flaming). If you like, let me know. If you don't, be a little gentle. I apologize if the characters are really out of character (I think Kate is more OOC than Sawyer, but that might just be me).

So on that note, leave a review/comment but be nice. Lol.

Jen


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